Guess what I fucking hate.

oh fucking shit fuck fuck goddammit.

it's someone's birthday next door. this means that several young women, their minds about as sharp as marbles, will be undertaking the difficult task of deciphering the enigmatic nature of balloons. unfortunately, without the strongest cognitive abilities, they find themselves popping them repeatedly on accident and giggling each time. i guess no one told them you're not supposed to swallow the mouthwash every morning.

these are the people i deal with.

hah.

A ten minute post!

Hooray! One day I'm going to write a full-length post again. You know, where I take my time and shit. Whatever.

Today my parents came to visit me from Athens and that was nice. We had to go to JCPenny to get a tuxedo for me to wear at Thursday's band concert. Fuck. Band? In college? It kind of sucks but whatever.

So today I'm mad because I have to write a paper AND study for a fucking biology test. A four fucking chapter biology test. I don't like this. Okay. It's been three minutes and I already feel bad about wasting my time typing shit.

GOTTAGOKBYE

9 minute post

Hooray! Another timed post!

Okay. Let's talk about my day so far. I have this sociology paper to write and it's really pissing me the fuck off. It's due tomorrow at 4pm so I have plenty of time but it's just a drag.

I'm going to waffle house tonight. Well, tomorrow morning really. Around 1:30am. It's turning into a weekly tradition with a friend of mine.

Uh. What else? I made a speech this morning. Yes, yes, I delivered a powerful oratory, filled with passion and essence of the human spirit. It was riveting. There were tears. Actually there weren't. It was about the fleeting appreciation and enthusiasm for classical music on college campuses and in life generally. Interesting on some levels I guess. It was a far cry better than the other dumbasses who decided it'd be a good idea to go to a website and copy down facts to recite to us for 4-6 minutes. That was painful.

How are we doing on time? Five minutes left.

I'm drinking my energy beverage of choise. Nitrous Monster Killer-B. It's this pretty yellow color and it makes me jittery and awake for five hours or so. Imagine if a 5 Hour Energy and a Redbull had sex. This is the offspring.

I've had the Green Acres theme song stuck in my head all day. Why? I don't know. I've never even officially watched the show. Strange. Strange things happen to me.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm dreaming in real life. I find myself in these strange situations and I can never tell if what I'm seeing is true. Maybe I'll provide examples tomorrow.

OKBYE

12 minute post

I'm giving myself twelve minutes to say whatever the fuck I want. It's 5:48 and I have a 3 page draft for a paper I have to write before the night is over. I'm making myself start at precisely 6:00.

Let's see. What happened today? Well, my biology lab was cancelled so that gave me more time to work on my speech I'm giving in communications tomorrow. It's actually a lot of bullshit. Heaping piles of bullshit. Mountains of bullshit as far as the eye can see.

Okay, enough of that. I drank a Nitrous Monster about thirty minutes ago and I've noticed that it really just makes my ADD worse. My mind becomes more energized but ends up only capable of straying away from the subject matter I'm trying to address. Like this paper. Fuck.

It's only three pages. Three goddamn pages about Beloved. BELOVED. A book I've read before. It's good. Toni Morrison is a goddess. You'll see that once you finish it. I'm convinced she's the male equivalent of Morgan Freeman (aka GOD). Which means she's god's lover. And together they account for all knowledge of the universe and essentially existence in general.

Please don't think to hard about this post. I guess I'm going for that whole stream off consciousness thing. Keep typing no matter what. Disregard mistakes. Keep typing. Hey! That's like Beloved. Toni Morrison employs stream of consciousness in Beloved to better display her concept of "rememory." You'll get it later. Once you read the book, yeah. Okay.

5 minutes left before paper. Oh shit. What am I going to say for five minutes? Oh yeah, fuck you, Christine O' Donnell. You tried to lie about where you were going to grad school THREE DAMN TIMES. What? Did you think people wouldn't check where you went to college and IF YOU ACTUALLY WENT if you ran for a political office? I guess not. I guess you're another one of those Sarah Palin Tea Bagging motherfuckers who actually have no true concept of what's going on. And you're racist. And homophobic. And just another example of the uneducated trash the GOP decides to represent their party. It took her ten damn years to finally get her bachelor's in English Literature. It insults ME that someone so stupid and ridiculous would even attempt to look at literature with a critical eye. Bitch.

Okay, one minute left. Let's end on a happy note! Umm... do I even have those? Um. Um. Um. The color yellow is very pretty. I feel like it's one of those colors that's under appreciated. Like indigo. Ever since I was a child everyone had some sort of hostility towards indigo. It's part of Roy G Biv just like the rest of the spectrum. I demand equal treatment of all colors!

Bye now! :D

shit. shit. shit.

Okay. So I almost died today.

I don't understand why log trucks have not yet been made illegal. Everyone I've ever met shares the same fear that a rampant tree trunk will fly off the tractor trailer and impale whatever lies in its path. Proponents of truck drivers might try to convince the world that everything's totally save! Everything's fantastic! We even use rope to tie the hunks of heavy wood to the truck while we're going 85mph down a winding Georgia highway!

Back to my near death experience. I was driving back to Milledgeville today on GA 441 and it's usually a pretty quiet trip. Not too many cars, just a lot of ugly road construction workers and dumpy southern towns. For a good five minutes I was following this giant ass tractor trailer with a shit load of log/tree material. Needless to say, the bulk of it was attached poorly. Being the cautious individual I am, I slowed down and watched several other cars fill the gap between the the truck and me. Not ten minutes later, after the tractor trailer past my field of vision, I pass through an intersection where the the traffic lights had somehow malfunctioned and there was a huge wreck. I'm assuming the truck had to slow down too quickly and A LOG IMPALED A GREEN JEEP CHEROKEE. It had blasted directly through the front window and then through the driver's side window. I don't know for sure if anyone died but I'm not sure how someone wouldn't have in that car...

Had I kept following that truck, it could have very well been me. It just goes to show you that tractor trailers are dangerous methods of transportation and tree impalement is no joke.

RETURN.

Yes, I have returned to the world of blogger. You all dearly missed me, I know. While I'm still Tumblr's sex slave, I'll hopefully start posting true blog material again here.

Let's recap on my life, shall we?

I started college at GCSU. I'm only going to be here for the rest of this semester before I move back to Athens to begin life at UGA. GCSU's not a bad place though. They keep the lawns nicely manicured. The dorm rooms are more like rooms and less like high rises with cubicle chambers (I might be living in Russell next semester. Shitshitshittingfuckadlsknpwoviansvdoan). Classes are extremely easy here also--at least for pseudo-competent people. As for the others, you just have to accept that there are going to be religious idiots and conservative crazies anywhere you decide to go (they don't always perform very well when it comes to tests, essays, in-class discussions, forming coherent thoughts, rational deduction of surroundings). Luckily, most of the professors dislike these unfortunate souls and give the preferential treatment to the educated folks (like myself).

As far as the city of Milledgeville goes, there's not a whole lot to say. If you're a Flannery O'Connor enthusiast, there's plenty of shit to keep you entertained. I visited her home a couple weeks ago. It's called Andalusia. You'll find it right past the road from Walmart (classy, I know). There's a long gravel road that will eventually lead you to the picturesque image a classic southern farm--it's like taking a trip back in time. Everything in her home has been kept exactly as she left it. You can see everything from her crutches (she had lupus and died young because of it) to her typewriter to the 1960's drab curtains. And if you're familiar with her stories, much of the scenery parallels the setting of Good Country People, The Life You Save May Be Your Own, etc. The barn where Joy-Hulga's prosthetic leg is stolen by the salt of the earth, Manley Pointer, is there. It's eerie. I got chills.

"Mrs. Freeman's gaze drove forward and just touched him before he disappeared under the hill. Then she returned her attention to the evil-smelling onion shoot she was lifting from the ground. 'Some can't be that simple,' she said. 'I know I never could.'"

-Good Country People

Ah, let's see. What else have I been up to? Watching HBO shows. The Sopranos is the most brilliant show ever written. It makes me want to join the mob. Too bad it doesn't exist! Heh heh heh... heh.

And Weeds! Weeds is great too. The show is centered more around the family and less about the actual mary jane. Highly recommended.

That brings me to another tidbit of advice. If you plan on coming to college, bring plenty of entertainment. When the classes are easy, you have a fucking shit load of down time. Netflix is a good idea.

I'm fizzling out now. My chai latte with a shot of expresso is wearing off. Damn.