tv habits

There are only a few channels on TV I deem bearable for viewing.

1. Discovery Channel
2. NatGeo
3. Food Network
4. History Channel
5. Travel Channel

Though the last one is conditional. If the Travel channel shows another Disney Cruise documentary with dancing characters and themed restaurants, I'll throw up all over the television. Or if they parade Andrew Zimmerin around eating anything you put in front of his face, I'll switch the channel immediately. There's only one show tolerable: Anthony Bourdain - No Reservations.

This man deserves awards--handfuls of awards. He's revolutionized the way the travel channel works. No longer will happy, cheerful Sandra Brown rate hotel rooms across Europe. Nope. Travel is hard-hitting now. It's critical and it's real. It's hard not to fall in love with this guy.

He's been around the block if you know what I mean (hence the "Warning, this show might not be entirely suitable for young viewers. Discretion is advised" that appears before every show and after every slew of commericals). Occasionally he'll admit to his past, filled with drugs, sex, smokey rooms, and a hippy-chef way of life.

Bourdain is crude too. In Puerto Rico, he uses the phrase, "pornographic orgy" to descibe the local mufungo, crafted from plantains and shrimp. This loud New Yorker doesn't hesitate to make a sexual joke, curse like a sailor, or criticize any travel experience he deems mediocre. The Travel channel execs must hate him and love him at the same time. On one hand, he's won over a myriad of viewers, formerly unacquainted with the channel. On the other hand, he's made every other show a piece of shit in comparison. Andrew Zimmerin? Your portly body and matching orange shorts and tourist shirt just don't do it for me.

This man is like a good fashion show. It's fierce and in your face. He struts about, sampling the most crucial parts of a culture, hidden away from the commercial attractions. In his trip to Egypt, he completely ignores the Great Pyramids. The GREAT PYRAMIDS. For most of American society, the pyramids are all Egypt is. Though his observance of them is always from a distance.

While this guy is snarky and critical, he always manages to wrap the show up in a way everyone can feel okay with. In an episode where he travels to Malasia, he is the honored guest of a river side village. As the honored guest, it is his job to kill the pig for the feast that evening. In the shallow freshwater, he spears the swine's neck and explains that it was one of the most difficult things he's had to do. He reminds everyone that sometimes travel is painful. It hurts like hell. There's no such thing as a 100% pleasurable trip. To truly experience a culture is to be ripped away from your own in the most awkward situations.

Unfortunately, I haven't been afforded the opportunity to travel much. I've been to the Bahamas once, Mexico, Canada. Though one day I hope to have the same pain. The same enlightenment this man encourages people to have. I'll look for the real food, the real people, the real culture of whatever foreign land my feet land on. It'll be great. I know it will.